Emotions are energy in motion. As such, they are neither "good" nor "bad." Emotions are. Period. It is how we channel (or suppress) the energy of emotions that creates "good" or "bad" effects in our lives.

Your emotions are not "you." They are transitory sensory input to help you discover "you." In identifying ourselves too strongly with our emotions, we create blockages in the natural flow of energy. Those blockages cause built up pressure that seeks expression either inwardly or outwardly. It is how we choose to express or repress our emotions which creates our judgements about which emotions are "positive" or "negative."

Emotions are energy. We can use that energy to enhance our lives or to wreak havoc. Often times, people identify so strongly with the attendant physiology of a particular emotion that they escalate their bodies into a full-blown fight or flight response and feel totally out of control.

The energy of an emotion seeks expression. When the emotion is strong enough and repressed enough, the body tries to express on it's own without assistance from the consciousness. At this point, some people become "raging lunatics" while others become physically numb and cold and may even exhibit symptoms of physical shock. Long-term suppression of emotions often leads to illness. In either case, it is not an emotion which caused such extreme reactions. These "out-of-control" physical reactions occur when the owner of the body, the experiencer of the emotion, chooses to consciously reject the energy of the emotion. This energy, a potential gift, when rejected by the consciousness, seeks expression in other ways. It need not be so.

Emotions are a gift. They can deepen and expand us and assist us on our road to self-discovery. To appreciate the gifts and flow of emotion requires some discipline and retraining. Most of us were conditioned from an early age to be disingenuine in both our experience and expression of emotions. Take the example of two toddlers playing together. Toddler Billie takes toddler Bobbie's toy. Toddler Bobbie feels strong emotion. Bobbie may cry. Bobbie may yell. Bobbie may become violent. If the mommy or caregiver disapproves of the way Bobbie chooses to express the energy of the emotion, there will be some form of punishment. Unless this child has a very insightful mother, the message will be "This is a bad emotion." (Rather than, "Here are some better ways to express this emotion.") Bobbie has just "learned" that it's not OK to feel.

This kind of indoctrination continues through our entire lives. We are told that we "should" smile when we feel like crying, laugh at jokes we do not find humourous, cry at times when we feel free or happy, hug people we don't like, stay away from people we do like, etc. etc. No wonder people try to ignore or bury their genuine emotions. We have not exactly created a society which encourages the genuine and healthy expression of emotional energy. (Yet.)

In order to benefit from the energy and gifts of emotions, we have to be brave enough to experience them, and responsible enough to use the energy in a constructive way. Becoming aware of your own emotional experiences does not give you the right to puke your particular expressions of emotional energy on anyone who happens to be in the vacinity. Think of emotional energy as an ocean wave. If you surf it, you can swiftly move forward in your life (and you may even enjoy the ride!) If you wallow in it, you may drown. If you stand on the beach and turn your back, trying to ignore it, you may be in for some nasty surprises. Bear in mind, that this is YOUR wave. Your experience. It is not ethical to try to force someone to surf it with you or to try to pummel them into the sand with the energy of your emotional wave. You do not gain gifts from emotional energy you try to force onto others. (Usually emotional energy is forced onto others when the person experiencing the emotion doesn't want to deal with it. This is how amateur soap opera stars and professional bullies get their start. You don't have to be either. And you don't have to join either in their own private dramas.)

To enjoy the transformative benefits of emotional energy, you must consciously choose to experience and express the emotion in a way that is personal, clean and constructive.

Here are some simple exercises to assist you:

When you awaken in the morning, as soon as you are conscious, become aware of your own present moment emotions. How are you feeling? Joyful? Enthusiastic? Unhappy? Don't judge how you're feeling. It will change soon anyway. Just become aware of your own feelings. This simple exercise will help you in becoming self-referenced. For those of you who are empathic, knowing what it feels like to be you, helps you to become more aware of when you've taken on someone else's emotional pain or sadness. Awareness is the first step towards liberation.

Another exercise: Surfing the wave.

Think of a time when you had an intense emotion. It doesn't matter what emotion, just go for one that had a lot of energy behind it. You may want to close your eyes for a minute or two and really get into the experience of a particular emotion. Now bring your awareness into your body, and notice how your body processes the energy of a strong emotion. Each person's experience is unique. Where in your body do you feel the energy of this emotion? What changes have you noticed in your heart rate and breathing? What are your muscles doing? What about your stomach? Your back? Your arms and legs? Is there resistance or tension anywhere? After you have identified your body's way of reacting to this intense energy, stop. Take a very deep, long, slow, breath in. Hold it a moment. Now blow that breath out through your mouth in a loud, long exhale. Keep exhaling until you run out of air. Take a few more deep slow breaths like this. Now notice the sensations in your body again.

Here's what happens: When we experience strong emotion, our bodies tend to pump adrenaline. At the time when we most need to think clearly, we find the blood and oxygen are drained from our brains and pumped into our bodies to enable our fight or flight response. People who were abused as children sometimes go to a third response of "freeze." In any case, our physiology changes dramatically. Our bodies have a wonderful ability to respond to crisis. They also have a natural way of returning to balance and calm. This is achieved by taking a deep breath and sighing it out, long and slow. That long slow exhalation is a signal to your body that the crisis has passed. The body relaxes and blood and oxygen return to the brain.

Becoming aware of your own body's unique responses to strong emotion, can help you ride the energy wave of an emotion and return to balance much more quickly, rather than being unconsciously swept away by your body's reactions. The more you are aware of your body, the more you can be present in a situation and use the energy of an emotion to teach yourself what you need in the moment.

Honoring and using emotions as teachers:

In case I haven't pounded the point home enough, let me just reiterate: Emotions are gifts. Your emotional reactions and responses are unique to you. These emotions can teach and empower you in wonderful ways if you honor them. Let's use a hypothetical situation to see how this works:

Imagine two friends walk into a room full of people. Upon entering the room, they each experience emotions they were not feeling previously. One feels very happy and a little excited. One feels apprehensive and fearful and wants to leave. Which person is feeling the "right" emotion? They both are! Each is receiving energy to assist them in self-discovery. If they will each take a deep breath and ride the wave, they will each be enriched by this experience. The person feeling happy may discover that they have an intuition that they are about to meet a new person who will offer them a new opportunity. The person feeling apprehensive may discover that the apprehension is not really their own emotion, but something they picked up as they walked past a nervous man in a blue sports coat. Or they may discover that the apprehension is their own and it is directly tied to a negative experience that happened many years ago at a social gathering in high school. Whatever. Through deep breathing and self-examination, the energy of the emotions can be redirected constructively into the present moment. Perhaps the person who was experiencing apprehension can remind themselves, "Glad that's over. If I can live through that, I can live through anything." or "I handled that situation in high school pretty well for a kid. I certainly have grown and changed a lot since then. I bet many of these people had similar experiences when they were kids. We're all learning new things in our experiences on Earth. I'm really going to have fun meeting these new people. I wonder what I can learn from them tonight?"

Through deep breathing, acknowledging and exploring the emotion so it can continue moving through, and directing the attention and energy to the present moment, a person becomes more empowered because of the emotional energy they experience.

The person feeling happy had no need to exaggerate the outward expression of their emotion by becoming "the life of the party" and behaving in a phony, forced way. The person experiencing the apprehension did not have to create a panic attack and run from the room in fear. Both became free to be exactly who they truly are in the present moment.

Emotions can teach us about ourselves. Angry feeling may show us that we are being disrespectful to ourselves and trying to blame others for our own lack of respect. Fearful feelings may unveil a hidden power which we are afraid to wield. Sadness may have been a blanket we wrapped ourselves in to feel justified in avoiding our life's purpose. These are just examples and possibilities. To gain the gifts and power of your own emotions, you must be willing to be alone with them and yourself and to acknowledge them rather than to judge them or hide from them. Once you've felt the feelings (felt, not drowned in), you can then examine the message they have and transmute what may have once been a debilitating feeling into a new strength and vitality. A word of caution: if you use these techniques and no longer identify yourself with your emotions, you may find your emotional life becomes very rich and meaningful, and people may begin to identify you with feelings of peace and joy!