Whenever we see another person as our source of love, we become unbalanced and engage in all sorts of insane thoughts which, if left to run wild, will eventually manifest in ridiculous behaviour. Jealousy, insecurities, clingingness, withdrawal, melodrama, control, obsession, martyrdom and all other such goofy behaviour stem from our own lack of relationship with the Source of All Life and Love, and from our own lack of relationship with our self.

No human being is ever going to meet your needs. It is not your lover's job to give you what you want. It is YOUR job.

If you choose to love someone, love them as they are. If you'd like to adopt a human improvement project, adopt yourself. Grow yourself, love your lover.

In case you haven't noticed, humans have moods. Their words and actions and desire to bond are different in different moments. If you put your life and happiness into the hands of a human, you're in for a wild emotional roller coaster ride. If you find yourself on a such a ride, stop. Get off the roller coaster. Step away from your ego drama. Examine what you have done to create your own craziness. Remind yourself that what you feel is transitory, but who you are, your True Self, is eternal.

Reconnect to that unlimited, steady, eternal source of Love. If the Universe / God (however you view "God") is your Source of Love, then you need never feel unloved, unwanted or unappreciated. Allow yourself to receive Love. Choose joy. Your partner can then join the party or continue in chaos. Their life. Their choices.

As for you, you can choose to receive Love from the Universe and give Love to your partner whether your ego thinks they deserve it or not.

I am not recommending that anyone stay in an abusive relationship. Far from it. But if you truly spend time connecting to the Source, you will be guided into a path that is loving for you, too. Drama begets drama. Fear begets fear. In any relationship, look at your own contribution to feeding the drama and simply redirect your energy.

When you choose to change you, your romantic relationship will change. Maybe, probably, not the way you think it will. But it will change if you choose to take responsibility for your life, raise your vibration and embody Love.

el 2002